If you’re hoping for a bigger and better comp package this year, I have bad news. As the famous saying goes, hope isn’t a strategy, and it’s a waste of your time and talent. For the good news, keep reading.
Here’s what I’ve heard from hundreds of women in the last year when it comes to earning more and getting promoted:
🤐 I don’t want to appear aggressive.
🤐 I don’t want to be ungrateful.
🤐 They will pay me more if they think I’m worth it.
🤐 If I keep my head down, the big raise will come.
🤐 I make good money, so I don’t want to rock the boat.
🤐 I think I’m underpaid, but I don’t know.
🤐 I know I am underpaid, but I need a job.
🤐 I’m afraid they’ll say no; what then?
🤐 I don’t like talking about money.
Learning to talk about money is a mindset, 💡and asking for more is a skill. (I address both topics in my self-guided Compensation Confidence course – which is FREE this week when you pick up a copy of the Momentum Workbook.)
This wasn’t always easy for me.
Twice in my early career, I made 50% less than my male peers in the same role. The first time, at age 19, I was the local swimming pool manager and was told that “because I was a girl,” I had to find a co-manager and split the salary even though my brother performed the same role at the same age. The second time, I was 28 and managing a design team of eight employees; most were older than me. A colleague of the same age and experience level with the same title managed a smaller team yet was making double(!). I was told he “needed” that salary because he was “a man with a family to support.”
I remained underpaid until I was 35. That’s when I decided things needed to change.
I had an awakening. ✨ I began doing my homework to benchmark salary ranges for my role and became more confident in the value I brought to the organization. I had a young family, so I was motivated to earn more to give them a better life. As I was promoted to more senior roles, I became savvy about how companies approach compensation.
Now, I share everything I learned to help YOU earn more.
10 insider tips to get what you deserve:
1. Be your own advocate ✨
Patience is a virtue, but it has its limits. The work world does not operate as a meritocracy. It requires self-advocacy.
Pro tip: Each week, document your contributions or wins that positively impacted the team or the company in a hype sheet. Use your hype sheet to fuel a conversation with your manager about your value and future aspirations. It’s also a handy tool for your performance review prep.
2. Rewrite limiting money beliefs 🧠
Most people find the topic of money uncomfortable. Their discomfort often relates to their upbringing or a negative association with money formed early in life.
Pro tip: Reflect on your upbringing and the root cause of your money mindset. Is it serving you or holding you back? If it’s holding you back, recognize that money is not good or bad. It’s a tool to help you have the life you want and deserve.
3. Embrace the ask 🎯
Make the ask! What do you have to lose? Consider that a $5K increase now can translate into $600K(!!) throughout your career. Avoiding the ask only benefits your employer.
Pro tip: Learn to self-advocate and negotiate now because it will change your trajectory and provide financial stability for you and your family.
4. Balance gratitude and self-worth ⚖️
It’s normal and healthy to be grateful–and employers value it. However, too much gratitude can prevent you from getting what you deserve. You can be grateful AND deserve to be promoted or paid more.
Pro tip: Try saying this: “I am grateful for the opportunity and enjoy working here. I’ve done my research and know the salary benchmarks for my role are $X – $Y. My contributions to the team include {your list here}, which have enabled {list positive outcomes}. I’d like to request an increase of $X to reflect my value.”
5. Do your homework 📚
Knowledge is power. Hiring managers have more information than you do, so they have an advantage – unless you do your homework.
Pro tip: Use LinkedIn, hiring sites, salary databases, former classmates, colleagues, and mentors to secure at least 5 benchmarks. Arming yourself with information will turn a conversation into a negotiation.
6. Quantify your value 📊
Don’t assume you are a high performer if you are going into a salary review meeting. You need more than assumptions to have leverage with your employer.
Pro tip: Seek feedback routinely to KNOW how you are doing so you can be clear about the specific value you are contributing and the growth areas you are working towards.
7. Practice the crucial conversation 🗣️
A crucial conversation often involves high emotions and nerves. Aggressive or argumentative behavior doesn’t win fans or supporters. Worse, it typically alienates the other person in the conversation.
Pro tip: Practice. Find a trusted colleague, mentor, or coach with whom you can role-play a constructive conversation with good eye contact–including what you might say if you get a lukewarm response or pushback on your request.
8. State your goals clearly 📢
Managers and HR leaders often make assumptions about what employees want–especially if they haven’t been told directly.
Pro tip: Don’t assume your manager knows what you want. Ever. Are you open to moving or not? Do you want to travel more or not? Do you want to be promoted or move into a different function? Express your desires–don’t leave them guessing about what YOU want.
9. Embrace the silence 🤫
Nervousness often contributes to too much talking when making an ask. You’re human, it happens. You simply need a strategy to combat it.
Pro tip: The first step is awareness. The second step is to embrace the awkward silence. Say what you want to say, and then stop talking. (Shhhhh – you can do it!.) Keep eye contact and wait for a response.
10. Confirm next steps and follow up 📆
Managers are often as eager to end a negotiation as you are, especially if they can’t (or won’t) give you what you want.
Pro tip: Close the discussion by briefly summarizing your request. If you don’t have immediate support and alignment, ask for it and then schedule a meeting in one week for a decision and next steps. (And be ready with your consolation prize! To learn what that means and much more, pick up a copy of the Momentum Workbook this week and get FREE access to Compensation Confidence!)
Of course, money isn’t everything, but it matters. When fairly compensated for your work, showing up for work is more energizing. Plus, it signals your employer respects your contributions. And that feels great!
You are equipt to ask for more.
Kelly
