I want a big, full life – a successful career and a family. Ha – I’m not even married yet, so those things are in the distant future. But I feel stressed out now just thinking about how to have it all or do it all. I’m already exhausted in my current role so how can I possibly handle more? I know I need to chill out, but I’m a perfectionist–it’s just how I’m wired. I’m turning 30 soon so I feel like I need a grand plan. What do you suggest? Mollie, 29
A. Turning 30 is a milestone birthday, and it’s great to have a plan, but remember to be open to possibilities you can’t even imagine today. For example, you might meet someone new who lives across the country. 🌍 Another employer could offer you a big job. Stay open to the possibilities.
At the same time, recognize that you can’t do it alone. Nobody can. “Self-made” is not a thing. It takes a village to build a career, life and family. You need others to help you. Part of that begins with choosing friends and a partner who share your values and support your ambitions. 💪
Upward mobility at work typically requires more responsibility, but it also comes with more resources 💼 –team members, budgets, training, and compensation. And you can accomplish more when you utilize these resources. With experience, practice, and tools like the Eisenhower Matrix, you can learn to manage your time, delegate, and avoid distractions.
A. Last, recognize that perfectionism isn’t serving you because it’s unattainable. It creates unrealistic expectations you continually fail to meet. Not motivating, right? As a self-described perfectionist, shift your focus to the pursuit of excellence, which includes celebrating progress and accepting failure (and learning from it!) as part of being human. 🤗
I am in a great job and love the people I work with. I’m super inspired by the company’s mission and want to please my boss. I put in extraordinarily long hours, and I hope it will get better each week, but it doesn’t. I worry that I am burning out and don’t want to! My mental health is suffering, as is my physical health, because I don’t have time to exercise. How can I pursue my ambition and manage my well-being? Angel, 36
A. Two things that seem in opposition can co-exist. You can be ambitious AND dedicated to your well-being. The good news is that you recognize you want both but need a better balance.
Start by looking at how you’re spending your time at work. Are there tasks that can be delegated, meetings that can be skipped or eliminated, 🚫 and socializing that can be curtailed? Can you find efficiencies by removing notifications and tackling similar activities together—for example, all your administrative tasks—instead of stringing them out?
Try walking meetings. Get off Zoom or out of the conference room and propose a 30
minute walk to your colleague instead of the same old, same old. They will probably be delighted!😊
You may need a frank conversation with your manager, letting them know you love your work, but the hours are burning you out, and you need some time freed up to nourish your health. It could go something like this:
“I love my job, and the mission inspires me, making me want to work extra hard. However, working long hours every week for three months has caused my health to suffer. I want to come in a little later three mornings a week so I can incorporate a workout first. I assure you my work won’t suffer–it will inspire me to be even more focused and dedicated. Do I have your support?”
As you pursue your ambition, it’s also important to tend to your health 🌿 – and be willing to disappoint someone who may have other priorities or make other choices. You got this.
