I’ve been working for the same manager for seven years. I am eager to get promoted, but she said I can’t get promoted until she does! She’s a VP, and I know the likelihood of her becoming an SVP at our company soon is relatively low. Further, I don’t want her job. I see how demanding it is as she is “always on and never off,”’ and that’s not a lifestyle I want. Instead, I want to work in other parts of the business to become more well-rounded, but I don’t know how to raise it with her without hurting her feelings or, worse, making her mad. What can I do? Sally, 34
A. Congratulations on knowing your needs and aspirations. Often, managers assume their direct reports aspire to their position, but it’s frequently not the case – especially if that manager is not a role model for work-life balance.
You’ve worked with this person for seven years, but she is not tuned into your needs, so it’s time to share those with her. That conversation could go something like this: 🗣️
“I appreciate your guidance and support over the last seven years. I want to let you know that I’ve thought a lot about my potential career path and want to get experience in other parts of the organization to become a cross-functional leader one day. I would appreciate your endorsement as I apply to other opportunities in the company. I will never leave you high and dry. I will work with you to find someone to replace me and train that person for a smooth transition. Do I have your support?”
Set aside your fear that she may be upset. She may initially be upset because she doesn’t want to lose you. However, you aren’t obligated to remain by her side, especially when you don’t want her job in the future. Maintain a positive relationship, and she’ll be inclined to remain an ally. (Your clarity and ambition may even inspire her!) 💪
I hesitated writing to you because I don’t know how to say this without sounding ungrateful. My mom is a very successful executive in her field, and as a result, she has created a great life for my siblings and me. At the same time, she doesn’t have a social life, hobbies, or any form of self-care. I respect her and am lucky to have what I do because of her hard work. Yet, she keeps pushing me to work longer hours to get ahead. She doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t want what she has. Yes, I want to move up, take on more work responsibilities, and make more money, but not by sacrificing everything. Tell me there’s a better way! Cameron, 28
A. It sounds like your mom had to sacrifice a lot to get to the top of her career–and that was a choice she made. Perhaps you could ask her about the hard choices she made along her career journey and the trade-offs she accepted. What would she do differently? 🤔 Maybe nothing or maybe she’d make different choices today.
“Choice” is the keyword here. She made her choices, and you can make yours. You have to make the choices that work for YOU. 🎯A recent study by Stanford University revealed that hours worked beyond 55 are essentially pointless, with little to no productivity. Many governments and organizations are experimenting with 4-day workweeks and other approaches for reducing hours at work. Momentum is in your favor for smarter, better ways of getting our work done. With the adoption of AI and other tech tools, we will continue to find new ways to work more efficiently.
Back to your mom. Try framing the conversation in terms of your values. It could go something like this:
“Mom, I appreciate your choices to build your career and a life for us. I will always be grateful for that. It’s important for me to share something that’s important to me. In addition to valuing independence, my values include health and wellness, time with friends, and continuous learning. I know that means my path will be different than yours. It will be my own. I am prepared to make hard choices and accept the tradeoffs. I hope you will support me on my unique path.”
You’re coming from different generations with different societal forces at play. Honor the differences and focus on your journey.
Here’s to driving your career YOUR way. 🚗💨
