Q: This is a more personal issue than business, but it involves a lot of money, so I wanted to get your take. I’m a hair stylist and I have a wealthy clientele. I’m also a single mom with a 3-year-old son, and I want him to have the best life I can afford, including great schools. One of my clients, who is married to a notable person and lives nearby in a $40 million home(!), made me a generous offer. She said she owned a 2-bedroom condo in the neighborhood, and that she would be willing to sell it to me for the same price she paid several years ago. The place overlooks the highway, but I don’t care. It’s an incredible neighborhood, within my budget, and it will be walking distance to the schools.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve gotten everything in place, including reducing unnecessary expenses, securing my down payment, and preparing to move. I was over the moon that my dream was becoming a reality. Then, everything changed. She texted me late one night and said she had changed her mind. That “her marriage was rocky and she needed a backup plan.” That message threw me for a loop. I wanted to scream and curse. How could she do this to me?! Now what? I’m so furious, I can’t think straight. – Michaela, 39
A. I’m gobsmacked by two things: her extreme generosity and her curt retraction. So, first, kudos to you for having a client who cares about you, your son, and your well-being enough to make such a generous offer. That says a lot about your character and how much she values your relationship.
AND…second, her retraction by a late-night text is simply cruel and childish. Late-night texts are often riddled with regret, so perhaps she is regretful. She could have had a fight with her husband, been drinking, or something else entirely. Let’s set that aside. Your goal isn’t to engage in her marital issues; your goal is to get your agreement back on track. So, how can you do that?
- Get IRL. She seems like a texter, so send a text asking to speak in person.
- Express empathy. Let her know you’re sorry to hear about the personal issues she’s dealing with. By showing empathy, she might reveal a little more info that will help you understand what’s driving her change of plan. She may feel like she needs a place to escape to if her marriage is on the rocks. But, if she’s living in the “McMansion” you mentioned, I doubt she has to worry about where she might live if things go sideways with her husband.
- Emphasize your relationship. Let her know how much you have appreciated your friendship and her support for [ X ] years. You admire her and see that she’s always been someone you could trust.
- Share your disappointment. Be honest and direct. Keep your emotions in check. A calm voice will do wonders here. Let her know how much you were looking forward to finalizing the agreement. Share all the preparations you’ve done. You could say, “I’m incredibly disappointed. I secured the down payment, sold numerous belongings, and hired a moving company. I really want this to work out as we agreed. What will it take to get this back on track?”
Then stop talking. Let her answer or endure the awkward silence until she does. That will reveal what’s possible. If she shows remorse, she might be open to staying true to her commitment and adjusting the timing. If she’s erratic, you may discover that she made an offer she can’t deliver on. It’s hard to know. But take the high road. Don’t give up. Something tells me you will skillfully turn this around. Good luck!
You are equipt to recover your deal,
Kelly Mooney
