May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to recognize the importance of mental wellness. 

But that wasn’t always obvious to me.

Mental health awareness wasn’t a “thing” when I was growing up. If I were struggling or needed support, my mom would tell me to “buck up”, so I did. I think.

My mom’s way of dealing with me reflected how she treated herself.

She routinely internalized her feelings, neglected her needs, and created a family culture that mirrored her own (unhealthy) patterns of minimal self-care.

The closest thing I had to mental health awareness as a middle schooler was a glimpse of the hardback 📙 I’m Okay. “You’re Okay” by Thomas Harris on the side table in my parents’ bedroom. A

fter dinner, my mom retreated there with a cup of coffee in hand, closing the door for 20 minutes of uninterrupted reading. This quiet ritual was her much-needed (and well-deserved) respite after tending to the daily needs of nine kids.

Looking back, I think her silent coping conditioned me to keep things inside and power through my own struggles, just like she did. And, no matter what, forgo asking for help, since that was a sign of weakness. At least, that’s what my young brain believed.  

Years later, I began to experience the cumulative effect of my unhealthy habits. Driving to work one day, I could feel my heart pounding and mind racing from all that I was trying to “power though”: a teary toddler drop-off at daycare, the stress of layoffs after the dotcom bust, the pressure of making payroll, a manuscript deadline days away, a client demanding a last-minute trip across the country, and a close friend needing emotional support during a traumatic divorce.

IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH.

I remember thinking it would be easier to be in a car accident. (Crazy, I know.) Not one that would seriously injure me or others. Just enough to be hospitalized. And, not for too long, of course.

I wasn’t “okay”. I had too little sleep, a poor diet, and a dearth of self-care routines because I was tending to the needs of everyone else.

Why didn’t I ask for help? Draw more boundaries? Admit that I didn’t have all the answers? 🤷‍♀️That I was neglecting my self-care is obvious now, but it wasn’t then.

Back then, I didn’t have the skills or support system I needed to be my best (see my BYOB post to learn of one of my acquired survival strategies). I thought I needed to be strong, resilient, and unflappable because it wasn’t “okay” to be vulnerable. I thought I had to show others the way forward with confidence, insight, and courage. (Now I know I was simply repeating the same pattern  I learned watching  my mom.) 

Boy, was I wrong. I needed to ask for help, draw boundaries, and say “yes” to myself and “no” to other things and people that were less important. Luckily, I had an awakening before I teetered over that edge and took steps to prioritize my mental health and well-being. I hired a coach, changed my diet, and started sleeping more. It was a game-changer. 

Thankfully, a lot has changed since that dark time in my life – for the better. 💛

As a society, employers and colleagues, we now openly discuss the importance of mental wellness. But we still have a long way to go. A 2024 report from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) revealed that half of employees (52%) reported feeling burned out in the past year because of their job, and over a third (37%) said they were so overwhelmed it impacted their ability to work. Burnout is hitting women, young professionals, and mid-level employees the hardest: 54% of mid-level employees and 34% of workers aged 18–29 say they’ve considered quitting due to work’s toll on their mental health. 

Employees who don’t feel safe talking about mental health at work are far more likely to feel burned out. The message is clear: culture matters. Support matters. And creating space for real, honest conversations? That matters, too.

It’s one of the reasons I’m so committed to helping aspiring professional women build the skills, confidence, and support systems they need to thrive.

Mental wellness is a thing, a real thing, that needs tending to. By all of us. Individuals. Teams. Companies and institutions. 

Because if we take care of our mental health, I believe we really will be okay. 👌