I’m a big reader. 📚 Last year, I shared my Top 12 Books That Will Change Your Life. This year, I will review a book each month and give you some highlights, as well as my take on how you might benefit from the book (or not).
I consume a range of genres, but I especially love books that help me become a better person. 🌱So, when Oprah Winfrey gave her rare and high praise for Mel Robbins’ “Let Them,”–– I rushed to order it.
“One of the best self-help books I have ever read” – Oprah Winfrey, December 2024 ✨
The book arrived on December 24th, and I devoured it within a couple of days after my holiday company left.
Here’s my hot take.
First, I love the bold green, slightly iridescent cover. It radiates optimism just sitting on my desk. Who doesn’t love that?
What about the substance? It’s good, with some caveats.
Mel Robbins is masterful at simplifying a longstanding concept from Stoic philosophy, behavioral therapy, and other works so that others can grasp it quickly. That’s her skill. I commend her for it. 🙌
Here’s the gist of Mel’s book which she claims will transform her readers’ relationships.
“Let Them” is a mindset tool that suggests people stop trying to control others and instead focus on what they can control–themselves. The book includes a section called “Let Me,” which encourages values and decision-making to help individuals take responsibility for their actions.
Pretty straightforward. You may find this book helpful if you:
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- Tend to micromanage both work and personal relationships
- Are overly involved in your partner’s or your friends’ lives
- Are a people pleaser, and this behavior inhibits your happiness
- Experience high stress from trying to control outcomes
- Struggle to let go
If any of these reflect you, grab a copy. It could fuel a transformative experience for you. (I have no affiliations. The links are provided as a courtesy.)
AND…..[now for my caveats ]:
It’s painfully redundant. 🔁 She makes the same point over and over. (As did I in those two sentences.) I’m the kind of person who doesn’t need repetition to internalize the message, so for me, this was exhausting. Enough already. It felt like a podcast on repeat. The repetition forced me to read quickly, which often meant scanning.
She uses many examples from her personal life. Too many. 😬 I’m unsure how her kids feel about having their dirty laundry exposed throughout the book, but it was TMI for me.
Because her background is in law and media, she often relies on “experts,” “research,” and “the science says,” however, as a reader, you have to do your own work to figure out what, precisely, she is referring to. Granted, there is a 14-page bibliography at the end of the book, but none of the sources are specifically cited or footnoted in the body of the book, so you’re on your own to make the connections.
Most of all, the simplicity is problematic, and the transformative benefits are overstated. 🚫That’s my biggest beef. There was plenty of space to go deeper with more actionable insight and advice. Instead, the book stays at a high, superficial level.
For example, it doesn’t address:
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- Boundary-setting, thus potentially enabling negative behavior to escalate
- Compromise and when that might play a role
- How to address those who manipulate, abuse, or exploit others
- How to address toxic behaviors in the workplace versus “let them”
- Strategies for effective conflict resolution over passivity
- Context or complexity for the nuanced work that is required for personal growth
- How this applies (or doesn’t) to systemic discrimination
This book is one big, simple idea. But it isn’t comprehensive. It will be relevant to many, but it isn’t for everyone. It’s not for you if you are in an abusive relationship, are dealing with severe anxiety and need professional expertise, struggle with boundary-setting, or need concrete conflict-resolution skills. If any of those represent you right now, skip this one.
If you want to absorb the message but save your money for a night out, listen to her podcast for free. 🎧
Last, I am working on a NEW book with my sister, Katy Mooney, and I can’t wait** to share more about it with you (soon!). 📖For now, I will simply say that in contrast to Mel Robbins’ one big idea, this book has many small ideas that can lead to a big impact. It will help you take charge of your career and love your life. In short, it’s everything Katy and I learned along the way and wished we’d known sooner.
If you have any stories of your own to share for potential inclusion in our book, send me an email. 💌 I’d love to hear from you!
You’re equipt to buy, listen, or skip “Let Them.”
P.S. If you’re craving deeper, more actionable insights, check out our Momentum Workbook. It’s packed with practical guidance, prompts and exercises to help you take charge of your career and life. Learn more here.
