I work at a major state university as an associate professor. The pressure is intense to deliver high-quality instruction, network with peers, participate in department activities, secure funding grants, and publish new research. I am an excellent instructor. I routinely witness the transformation of my students during my courses, and their strong online reviews of me are further evidence. I’ve led insightful research studies and shared the outcomes at educational forums (with positive peer reviews). I felt good about everything I accomplished in 2024. When I went into my review last month, I expected praise for my research and impact on the students and the department. Instead, I was annihilated. The dean of the department tore me to shreds. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it isn’t. She did not commend me on any of my accomplishments. Instead, she just sternly asserted, “You’re invisible.” She followed this harsh feedback by drawing a line on a piece of paper, noting that I was below the line and needed to be above it. Then she just stared at me as I sobbed.
I am wrecked. I love my job, but I feel unappreciated and demotivated. What do I do? – Suzannah (age withheld)
A. I am stunned. 😳 This is horrific and vague feedback. Let me go further and say it’s not feedback; it’s a cruelly stated observation with no clear direction for you to act on. It focuses on a problem, not a solution. It was delivered ineffectively. It seems this dean has received minimal or no managerial or leadership training. Getting to her position is typically the result of academic achievement and research credentials, not skillful and inspiring communications (as evidenced by what you experienced).
Even though it’s rarely discussed, some people cry during performance reviews. 😢It’s human, especially when the feedback is unexpected and harshly delivered. Having water and tissues handy when entering a potentially tricky conversation is always good, and they can provide a momentary break to catch your breath. I am not encouraging you to cry; I acknowledge, though, that it happens. If you get emotional, you can say, “I need a minute,” take a few deep breaths or a quick restroom break. If you feel completely overwhelmed and unable to hold it together, you can say, “This is a lot to digest. I want to take a few days to process it and continue this conversation next week.”
Here are some questions and suggestions to help you move forward:
1. Were you prepared? Did you compile your accomplishments 📝 and accolades and provide them to the dean before your discussion? (Try our hype sheet to help you keep track throughout the year.) It’s best to bring two hard copies to the meeting as well.
2. Were you aligned? Did you know her expectations for your role and the year, and had you discussed them previously? 🧐 Did you document the discussion and share progress throughout the year? This is vital communication in any professional environment, including academia, and helps avoid surprises like you experienced.
3. What can you own? Setting aside her poor delivery, is there any truth to her critique? 🤨 Were you expected to be more visible in the department, university, and/or in key academic publications? Take responsibility for anything reasonable. Own it.
4. Ask for clarity. If you are unsure what “You are invisible” means, email her 📧 or set up a meeting to ask for clarification. “This was difficult to hear. However, I want to be clear. Tell me more…” or “Can you give me an example…” are good ways to start. Then, you could ask “What do you recommend I do?”
5. Make a plan. Identify 3-5 priorities for 2025 📅 regarding your role and becoming more visible, including the actions you plan to take and the associated success measures. Also, reflect on what support you need from HER in the year ahead. Part of her job as your manager is to help you be successful. Share your plan with her and ask for her input, support, and signoff so there are no surprises.
Consider talking to your peers who have more experience working with this dean. You may learn some tips regarding her communication preferences and how to build a stronger rapport.
Last, she could use some leadership coaching. I’ll send you a business card you can casually drop on her desk. 😉
You are equipt to overcome harshness,
Kelly Mooney
