You’ve been looking forward to this meeting all month. At the top of the agenda, your department leader asked the team for input on a major initiative. You have a brilliant insight 💡 that could make a real difference, but your heart starts racing. The words catch in your throat. Suddenly, you’re frozen in place, watching the moment slip away. Meanwhile, your peers chime in with less relevant input and receive the leadership’s nod of appreciation.
You worry your silence is costing you. And you’re right – it is.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. 🤝
I’ve spoken to hundreds of women this year, and many regret that they routinely miss the moment in high-stakes meetings with their leadership. Their reasons vary:
- Feeling intimidated by the communication skills of the leader
- Assuming others are brighter because they appear confident
- Worrying that their perspective might not be “senior enough” or “right”
- Experiencing paralyzing anxiety in search for the “perfect” words
- Assessing the safest route is to say nothing
- Growing up in a family culture where it’s impolite to speak up
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: staying silent when you have something valuable to contribute isn’t serving anyone – not your team, not your company, and certainly not you. 🙅♀️
Your perspective matters and your voice is needed. Research shows that diversity of thought drives better solutions, innovation, and comprehensive risk assessments.
And speaking up fuels your career momentum. (Think about it: when’s the last time you saw someone be promoted who stayed quiet in critical meetings?)
Ready to change this pattern? Here are 5 proven strategies to help you speak up with confidence: 👇
1. 📝 Prepare before the meeting – don’t just wing it:
– Review the agenda and identify 2-3 points where you can contribute
– Take 5 minutes to write down your key thoughts in clear, concise bullets
– Practice saying them out loud (this helps build confidence )
– Let the meeting owner know you’re excited to contribute to a certain part of the agenda, so they are more likely to engage you
2. 👓 Own your perspective – use your unique experience to frame your contribution and build your credibility:
– “From my experience working with our clients…”
– “Based on what I’ve observed in our data…”
– “One pattern I’ve noticed is…”
– “As the only woman in the room, I have a different perspective to share.”
3. 🌱 Start small, think big – build momentum with these conversation entry points:
– Ask a clarifying question: “What was the most unexpected outcome…”
– Ask for more information: “Can you elaborate on…”
– Share a relevant example from your work: “Last week, we discovered…”
– Build on someone else’s point: “To build on Sara’s idea…”
4. 🧘♀️ Have a confident posture – Your body language speaks before you do:
– Plant both feet on the floor when sitting, shoulders back and chin slightly up
– Take slow, deep breaths to steady your voice
– Avoid looking around, down or away from key people
– Make intentional eye contact with one person at a time
5. 🛑 Manage the interrupters – don’t let others cut you off:
– “I’d like to finish my point before we move on.”
– “Let me finish this thought and then I’d like to hear yours.”
– Use a hand gesture to indicate you are still speaking (and keep speaking)
– Support others with “I’d like to hear Surbhi finish her point.”
You are not there to fill a seat. You are there to contribute.
Speaking up isn’t about being the loudest voice or the most eloquent speaker. It’s about being present, authentic, and sharing your unique perspective. Each time you speak up, you’re not just adding to the conversation—you’re building your reputation.
If you need more tips, Neelu Kaur, Equipt Women collaborator and author of “Be Your Own Cheerleader: 📣 An Asian and South Asian Woman’s Cultural, Psychological and Spiritual Guide to Self-promote at Work” provides valuable guidance. Grab a copy here (I have no affiliation. This link is provided as a courtesy).
Your Speaking-Up Challenge 🎯
This week, choose ONE of these strategies and commit to practicing it in your next meeting. Just one. Notice I didn’t say “master it” or “perfect it.” Simply try it.
📫 I’d love to hear how it goes! Reply to this newsletter with:
- Which strategy you chose
- How it felt to try it
- What did you learn
You are equipt to speak up,
Kelly
