Q. I work for a large consulting firm, and they asked me to go to London for two weeks to teach a workshop. I can do a good job, and the experience will highlight my capabilities. However, when I think about what that entails – travel, long days, hotels, very little personal time – it seems like a hassle, so I declined. The coach I have been working with over the last year applauded my ability to draw lines to protect my mental health. My friends say my pursuit of balance is spot on. I don’t love this company, and I don’t want to be here long-term, so I think I made a good decision. What do you think? – Aja, 25

A. I think you’re asking because you’re not so sure you made the right decision. You didn’t provide any details about your mental health challenges, so my point of view acknowledges that I don’t have enough to build on. But since you mentioned a coach rather than a therapist, I will conclude your issues are manageable and may center on overwork as someone relatively new to consulting; thus, “drawing lines” was a win in your coach’s eyes.

My experience with coaches, spanning decades, has been wide-ranging. I have worked with great coaches who have also been business leaders or operators. These coaches understand the employer’s part of the equation and help you develop the skills you need to meet your goals and navigate the workplace successfully. They operate holistically. The not-so-great coaches are singularly focused on helping you become your best self, but lack workplace insights. There’s a place for that type of coach, but in your situation, I suspect your coach is well-intended but uninformed or myopic.

Your take on the opportunity was to focus on the negatives. If you had asked me this question before you declined the opportunity, I would have encouraged you to focus on the positives. Consider:

1. Your leaders see something in you. When leaders consider who could deliver for a client, they consider all the talent possibilities. They chose YOU. They see you as high-potential talent they want to develop and invest in. I suspect they didn’t make this offer to everyone in your role at your level, so you were selected.
   
2. International work helps you grow. Traveling abroad is another way to develop your skills, especially when you have to navigate on your own – flights, connections, transportation, currency, local norms, technology, time differences, and more. Perhaps you’ve traveled with your family, but nothing compares to traveling professionally. It helps you develop resilience and adaptability.

3. This is a manageable timeframe. It’s only two weeks. You’re early in your career, and you’ll find it’s much easier to take advantage of these types of opportunities when you don’t have a ton of responsibilities outside of work. If it were numerous months and caused a lot of personal upheaval with caregiving or pets, or with renting your apartment, that’s a different story. Or, if they were asking you to fly across the ocean, deliver a workshop, and fly out the next day, that’s a lot of wear and tear. Post-COVID, few professionals are expected to make those insane sacrifices now. Two weeks allow you to arrive, adjust to the time zone, and find healthy food sources and a gym.
   
4. You’ll develop new relationships and cultural insights. You’re going to meet interesting people who have different lived experiences. These people can enlighten you about their culture, show you around town, and possibly become professional or personal friends far beyond your two-week stay. If you remain at a large consulting firm, relationships like these can be hugely beneficial when it comes to new client development, cultural understanding, and compensation benchmarking.
   
5. Maximize your growth before you leave. It sounds like you don’t plan to stay there long. That’s a great reason to take advantage of every growth opportunity possible–on the company’s dime. You will find that other organizations may not be in a position to offer this type of international experience or allow you to “decline an opportunity.” So, get outside your comfort zone now and see what you can learn!
   
6. You’re strengthening your resume. Working internationally makes you a more interesting candidate to many organizations. It’s a proof point that you demonstrate a growth mindset, courage, and openness. No matter where you go next, references can be the difference between getting the offer and not getting it. Future employers want to speak with the leaders you have worked with and for, so having glowing references can seal the deal. 

That leads me to the downsides of declining an opportunity:

• Your leaders see you differently now. Where they once saw you as an “A player” with high potential, they may now see you as a solid “B player.” They may no longer want to invest in you. Instead, you may continue to play a steady role on the team, but that’s it. Growth opportunities are off the table or will be fewer. Further, when it comes to promotions and raises, those disproportionately go to A players.
  
• You weakened your potential references. While your bosses may still agree to be a reference, will they give you a glowing review? I doubt it. I suspect it will include some caveats if they agree to serve as a reference. You may not need them if you get an unsolicited offer, but you might for a job down the road–especially if you remain in consulting.
  
• Your “balance bonding” is misplaced. Your generation prioritizes work/life balance, which I respect and appreciate. At the same time, your friends are validating your choice rather than challenging you to see all sides of this situation. Everyone needs a personal board with diverse perspectives that will support you while also encouraging you to stretch under the right circumstances. (Here’s my take on building a personal board.)

So, now you have another perspective to factor in. If I were in your shoes, I’d go back to the manager and ask whether the opportunity is still available. And if it is, let them know that you’ve thought about all the upsides and have reconsidered. And if you’re lucky, they’ll see that as an A player move.

 At the end of the day, the choice is yours. So are the consequences. 

You are equipt to accept the opportunity.