Does that headline read as a conundrum? 🤨 Is it possible to be authentic AND good at small talk?
Yes!
For starters, small talk isn’t small–even though it might feel trivial sometimes (it can be) or not worth the effort (believe me, it pays off 💸).
A 15-year study by Harvard Business Review found that employees who engaged in brief, casual conversations with senior colleagues were 27% more likely to be promoted!
And if that’s not enough, a Stanford study showed that professionals who mastered “weak ties” (casual connections maintained through small talk) were 3x more likely to find new job opportunities through their network.
This “small” skill adds up to BIG advantages. 🙌
This might be maddening or disappointing if you prefer to demonstrate expertise, not master office chitchat.
However, you can showcase your expertise during a presentation or in your deliverables. Use awkward moments before and after meetings, in the coffee line, and in the elevator to make meaningful connections.
These connections are tiny building blocks for:
- Finding mentors who’ll champion your growth
- Building trust within your team
- Creating internal allies
- Opening doors for future collaborations or roles
- Crafting your professional reputation
- Cultivating friends at work
It’s time to get over your nerves and negative self-talk about small talk. 💬
7 tips to do small talk –authentically:
1. Shift your mindset. 🧠 Stop thinking of small talk as fake and recognize it as an opportunity to connect, to make someone else feel comfortable, or to learn something new.
2. Read the situation. 👀 Arrive early and notice the energy level, body language, and group dynamics. If people are rushing or talking on their phones, then that’s not the right moment for small talk. If people are standing around or staring at their phones, identify the most approachable person (or someone nervous) who might be relieved to receive a friendly hello.
3. Create a soft opening. 🌱 Instead of a cold question or a random fact, try the 2-part soft opening that leads with a statement and follows up with a short question. Like this:
– I’m new to the company. What’s your role?
– I just wrapped up a big project. What’s the most interesting thing you’re working on right now?
– I need an extra shot of espresso today. What’s your go-to beverage?
– I read your recent blog post. Tell me, what inspired you to focus on that topic?
– I just downloaded this cool, new AI tool. Have you tried it yet?
– There’s a local meetup later this week. Are you planning to go?
4. Bridge to more. 🔗 When you get a friendly or engaged response, you can go a little deeper during the next interaction–in-person or in the chat during a video meeting.
– I am following up on our previous conversation with this new piece of info.
– You mentioned a big project you were working on; how is it going so far?
– I read this incredible article related to your project. I’ll send it to you.
– I’ve been struggling with one aspect of a project. Can you be a sounding board?
– I noticed you also have a hybrid role. What’s a favorite hack you’ve discovered?
5. Take notes. 📝 Your phone’s notes app offers a ton of utility. Use it to capture tidbits you’ve discovered about a person or to summarize the conversation. It makes it easy to remember for future interactions and makes the other person feel remembered.
6. Wrap it up. 🛑 Find a way to exit gracefully. Avoid an abrupt departure or ending to a conversation. It can be simple, gracious, and upbeat:
– It was great meeting you. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
– I look forward to collaborating on a future project.
– I’ll send the article I mentioned when I return to the office.
– Thank you for your insight. I will check out the research you referenced.
– That was an energizing conversation. I’ll reach out on LinkedIn so we’re connected.
You don’t have to alter your personality or become the office social butterfly 🦋 to be good at small talk. You just have to decide that it’s important (because it is) and practice. The goal isn’t to be everywhere, talking to everyone. It’s about making authentic connections, one person at a time, that serve your professional growth and make your work life more enjoyable.
You are equipt for small talk,
Kelly
